I was lost but now I'm found

My past, is just that, my past, but it defines who I am today. I believe that if I didn't experience the experiences that I did, I wouldn't be who God has made me to be today, I am a work in progress. People they think sometimes, I've lost my mind, or brainwashed. I can guarantee you, before I attended church, before I opened my bible, I knew what was wrong, what was unclean. I tiptoe around certain people, trying not to step on toes, sometimes I am ashamed of who I was, and I think people won't believe that my hearts been changed. BUT, I HAVE been washed clean, by the blood of JESUS. A lot of you don't like it, a lot of you hate it truly, stepping on my toes every chance you get, but still I tiptoe, because I love you. I pray for you, and I am growing. Not being brain washed, I am growing to realize that sometimes, love means not tip toeing. In fact if I keep tip toeing, maybe you will never wake up.
<3 Melissa
P.S. sometimes, the jokes you think are funny, hurt so deep, my heart weeps for your soul

My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth <3

Watch "Casting Crowns - Praise you in this storm" on YouTube

Smiling faces

I got back from the hospital a bit ago, had my MRI. They had me sitting in the back waiting room for hours waiting on blood work to say I wasn't pregnant and they could do the test. I saw so many people, whos faces keep running through my head. Two in particular, an old lady who I saw on my way in, asked if she was in my way, I was gladly taking my time behind her, she was using an arm cane, and I thought, if she is willing to walk though she barely could, I didn't mind walking behind her. I saw her again later she waved and smiled to me, told me she hoped everything was okay with me as they wheeled her back out to the main waiting room, I wish I had gotten a chance to say "I wish you're okay as well". Another a tall man, smiling face, he waved at me and smiled an I couldn't help but smile for the next few minutes, he reminded me of a man from the black churches you see on t.v. the ones where everyone is dancing and singing. Wonderful people who smiled at me, genuine smiles, makes you think about how much your face and body language can effect people. I pray I reflect Jesus more, because I know that a lot of times I don't. I pray that someday, I get to tell those people, how their smiles effected my day. My day was brighter, because of a simple gesture. I also pray, I never forget, how a simple smile can change someones world.

Lord, I love how you find me, no matter where I am.

<3 Melissa

This devotion really moves my heart

I want to share this message from Daily Bible Devotion:

For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. Ecclesiastes 3:1, NLT

Sometime's bad things happen to good people. But how do you make peace with this thought, especially when you are fighting back anger, hurt, betrayal, or loneliness? It's important to realize God has perfect timing, even when we can't understand it. Without placing your faith in His timing, you leave room for resentment, despair, and rebellion. When you can't see the work God is doing through tragedy, remain faithful in knowing God's timing is perfect.

Get this Free Daily Devotion App: ANDROID: http://bit.ly/pE4x0C IPHONE: http://bit.ly/uJvpEW

Gotten nowhere

So approaching day 7, I have gotten nowhere, so I have decided to go the full 40 days. I really think I need an accountability partner, someone to tell me "pray, read, worship"... It's really time to get to what really matters, if only I could remember that in the mornings or all day, but it always hits me while I'm in bed.. All day I seem to be a wreck and a mess, and it has nothing to do with Facebook, but everything to do with not handing my pain to God... Maybe I need to keep a hand written journal, letters to my Lord, something personal.. Couldn't think of anyone better to share my pain with, or the reasons behind them, empty out my heart and soul.. my thoughts are scattered, Goodnight
<3Melissa

My Healer

Psalm 34:18 NASB
The LORD is near to the brokenhearted
And saves those who are crushed in spirit.

A verse I need to keep close to my heart, and remember to always turn to the Lord with my troubles. I find myself complaining a lot, and with no results, but in reality I need to give my troubles to the Lord, and let Him comfort my heart. Problems will get resolved, its not the end of the world. To me it seems major, to Him a spec of sand. So time to learn to give more up to the Lord, and He will make things fall into place. No matter how broken or crushed I feel, He is my Healer.
<3 Melissa

Today's Devotional

I want to share this message from Daily Bible Devotion:

"I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold. I wish that you were one or the other! But since you are lukewarm water, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth!" Revelation 3:15-16 NLT

What does it look like to be on fire for Christ? Does God see your faith as hot or cold, or worse, lukewarm? Are you thinking of ways you can impact God's kingdom? Is your day filled with busyness or is it filled with purposefulness? Maybe it’s time to infuse some passion today.

Get this Free Daily Devotion App: ANDROID: http://bit.ly/pE4x0C IPHONE: http://bit.ly/uJvpEW

October

My favorite song for a very long time, and never realized the meaning behind it.. HE always finds me where I need HIM, when I need HIM so I thought I'd share the lyrics with you all

I can't run anymore
I fall before You
Here I am
I have nothing left
Though I've tried to forget
You're all that I am
Take me home
I'm through fighting it


Broken
Lifeless
I give up
You're my only strength
Without You
I can't go on
Anymore 
Ever again


My only hope
(All the times I've tried)
My only peace
(To walk away from You)
My only joy
My only strength
(I fall into Your abounding grace)
My only power
My only life
(And love is where I am)
My only love


I can't run anymore
I give myself to You
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry
In all my bitterness
I ignored
All that's real and true
All I need is You
When night falls on me
I'll not close my eyes
I'm to alive
And You're too strong
I can't lie anymore
I fall down before You
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry



My only hope
(All the times I've tried)
My only peace
(To walk away from You)
My only joy
My only strength
(I fall into Your abounding grace)
My only power
My only life
(And love is where I am)
My only love


Constantly ignoring
The pain consuming me
But this time it's cut too deep
I'll never stray again



My only hope
(All the times I've tried)
My only peace
(To walk away from You)
My only joy
My only strength
(I fall into Your abounding grace)
My only power
My only life
(And love is where I am)
My only love




My only hope

(All the times I've tried)

My only peace

(To walk away from You)

My only joy

My only strength

(I fall into Your abounding grace)

My only power

My only life

(And love is where I am)

My only love

Never really realized the meaning behind the song, but God always brings me to stuff when I need inspiration. I was explaining to Scott why I had a rat named October, so I played him the song, and the lyrics ran straight to my soul... The Lord is what drives me on...

<3 Melissa

P.S. the song is Evanescence-October

Day 1, Verse

Philippians 4:13 - I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me

I am writing posts daily, saving them, and may or may not make them public at a later time


<3 Melissa

Facebook "Black Out"

I haven't blogged in years, didn't really know it was "blogging" when I did. It was more of a journal, and that is probably what this is too, I am Blacking out on facebook/twitter/social networking, for a unspecified amount of time. I am taking time off because I need to focus more on prayer, reading the bible, most importantly to focus on  my relationship with God. I am blogging because a lot of the time when I am doing devotionals or reading my bible, something gets me so excited I just have to share, and since I am cutting off facebook, this is where I will share. I hope to make this blog as much about my spiritual journey as I can, like it says, my "Inner battles and Spiritual war". As for my screen name, Evanescentt414, as much as I love Evanescence, the screen name has nothing to do with them. Evanescent means "to dissipate like vapor", and 414 comes from James 4:14 "Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.". So I am excited to start my "black out" in about 2 hours and 25 minutes a little after midnight. If anyone reads this please pray that my bible and prayer replace social media, that I put the Lord first in my life, above all else.

You can all find me at on my cell or
Evanescentt414@aim.com
Evanescentt414@msn.com
Evanescentt414@yahoo.com
Evanescentt414@gmail.com

All messengers will be hooked up to my cell phone but if you have my number I prefer texting..

<3 Melissa